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toomanycats
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since May 2017
Location: USA
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Default Dec 03, 2019 at 07:23 AM
 
I told my current therapist yesterday that I am officially doing this.
I mean, I kind of already was - I contacted all of the therapists I saw in the transition, I hunted down files, I've been spending hours converting them to PDFs. I was already "doing it," but now I've officially put that to words.

I wish I could say this would bring me the kind of closure that would mean I can walk away and never think of or even Google this guy again when it's all over, but I know that's not going to happen. It will give me something: an official "something" I can look back on to convince myself if it wasn't my fault; I will be able to know, also, that I did all I could to prevent it happening to someone else. It will give me that, at least. I hope.

I anticipate a long process, especially given how many files I plan to provide them -- thousands.
I am not currently certain if I will ask them to withhold my name from him. He will know it's me eventually, and I kind of want to go in with my head held high - not with fear (although, let's be honest...there's plenty of fear). When he hears he has another complaint, I kind of want him to know it's me... and, thus, to know he's f*cked. Because he knows. He knew. I kind of want the power now.

Not sure what that means about me, heh.

EDIT:
Nevermind, I apparently don't even have the option to hold back my name.
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