Quote:
Originally Posted by Hairball
I don't or can't recommend this to anyone but I made the decision to cut my whole family off. It actually started with them doing it to me, and I was the one pushing and shoving myself to get involved with them. The last draw was when my sister decided to stop talking to me, and couldn't tell me why.
I decided to hand it over to God and let him deal with it, meanwhile yes I am alone, and lonely and miss my family but my sister pushing me out of her life was probably the best thing that could have happened.
I no longer have that burden to carry along with guilt of doing or saying the wrong thing. Kind of like a sense of freedom. I actually get anxious and sick if they try and get a hold of me, so I know it isn't in my best interest to engage with them anymore.
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I spent 44 years trying to be worthy of my birth family ,get involved ,get kicked in the head,rinse and repeat.
I finnaly woke up and realized our definition of family and love were wholly incompatable and the endless gas lighting was not worth it ,i should have shut them off years before when I got diagnosed there answer to I have a rare incurable illness was "so" ,I am the youngest of 3 kids they have 12, being family I was trying to warn them ,what's killing me got into family DNA somewhere , I was worried about them having it and it not having expressed itself, I could offer them genetic decoding and counseling thru my insurance free to them ,a simple blood test ,they refused.
That's when I cut them out of my life ,YIPPEE!!
Free at last ,I am healthier and happier having cut that toxic mess loose ,I won't lie sometimes yes it gets lonely and then I think about all the drana and abuse I miss and soon I am back to YIPPEE!!.
Toxic people and toxic families rarely get better,we can escape there gravitational pull however and live happily without them ,we just have to decide enough and make the leap ,its not a hard leap many have done it before us,stick to your guns get away, stay away .