I understand the noise sensitivities, too. More than ever, I also rely on daily routines to keep me as well as possible. I do think there is something to that. Even many of our most recent vacations are ones where the place has a kitchen, so I can cook, and living room. I like to do activities, but when an itinerary is very packed, moving from city to city, I lose it. Big time! Meaning mania, psychosis, accidental injuries, ranting in public, etc. Honestly, all of this is a major reason why I'm still on disability for bipolar disorder.

I sometimes wonder when/if I will ever really get off of disability. I have tried, numerous times, to add extra "new" things to my life, and I often fail, especially when they are outside of my house at set times I am obligated to. Hubby and I brainstorm ideas for how I CAN work in the future. It has to be a strategic plan. Getting some job in an office is likely no longer in the cards for me. That's very triggering. The last time I managed some regular evening activity (a Modern China lecture series), I think I only succeeded because, by chance, my psychiatrist attended it, too. I didn't sit next to him, but I could see him. That likely sounds pathetic, to some.

Funny story about that lecture series: The first lecture I was sitting, nervously, and noticed a man with bright red hair. It turned out he was my very first psychiatrist (who diagnosed me). That made me very nervous. I started to imagine that I would have a mental breakdown in the lecture hall. I remember thinking that I wish my current psychiatrist was there. About 10 minutes later, I noticed he WAS there. Imagine? Two psychiatrists in that Modern China lecture series with me? Really! It would be hard to make up this stuff!