I think you misunderstood me, it was my brother, not mom.
Please do not be so hard on yourself, your mom didn't become bipolar, and it wasn't due to your past with her, we can't take the blame for other's mental disorders, it is proven that many disorders are genetic, or some psychosis are brought on by substance abuse, etc.
I sincerely wish you luck and balance with therapy,your mom and most important, your healing.

DE