I had high hopes for therapy for many years, tried many different therapists, paid out of pocket the last time -- still didn't work.

It just doesn't for some folks -- they don't have what we need. I try to explain -- they don't understand, or don't offer it, or the kind of help I felt I needed doesn't exist and there is no one to try to do something new.

Those are the facts as I have come to understand them, after more than 55 years in therapy, on and off.

So -- what do I do then? I keep on existing, until I don't anymore, at some point. Maybe some purpose will appear or become evident, I don't know. I've certainly tried different goals, and trying different work situations -- and those didn't work out either.

The last therapist, about 10 years ago, did diagnose me with a personality disorder, PDNOS (Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified) and I do think having something like that does help explain why I had a lot of difficulties in life and a lot of things I thought SHOULD work out, didn't. But that doesn't help much, either, because there isn't any reliably effective therapy for personality disorders. There just isn't. And the profession doesn't talk about that part. And so -- I am just stuck, like someone with an untreatable disease. But a disease which also apparently makes me difficult for other people to get along with, just as I find them difficult to get along with, too, sometimes.

Don't know if it helps much to hear about my long, ultimately disappointing experience, too. I think somehow we may have to find a way to help ourselves, and/or help each other, but I don't know what that way is.