im not having any romantic or erotic transference... but recently i have been hit with this intensity of feeling that i am struggling with. A lot of it is prolly the whole hormone soup i am sitting in..

i KNOW he cares... i know he does... as hard as it is to comprehend and accept, i know he does. i dont have expectations beyond what is appropriate, but he pours himself into this.. he spent an hour and a half with me the other day... he doesnt come out and say emotionally charged things often, but he does say them sometimes, and he is very open if i ask him.

i can SEE that he is doing all this wonderful stuff and really BEING there for me... even through all the turmoil.

but i have been struck by this intense feeling lately.... that either he does not care, or that he will pull back. i'm not afraid of him leaving me, it's more a fear of rejection. i feel compelled to talk to him, to convince him i am doing better, convince him i am worth the effort... it's maddening

i dont understand this.... i can see that the feeling cannot be trusted.. any ideas?