I AM PROUD OF YOU!!! You talked to your husband, no matter how much you said, you took the step and did it...YEAH!! And you have also talked your self out of the "stupid stuff."
You know that I have never been where you were or currently are. Yet you have shown me and taught me so much. So many people don't want to hear about the pain, the anguish, the suicide attempts and so many other things that push you. The world would tell you to forget about it or move on with you life, but it difficult. And you have shown me that there come a point when you need to let that out, when people need to listen, when you need to find that control once again. I have kept things in me that pushed me beyond anger and am trying to talk it out. I actually got through my immediate anxiety of talking to my wife about what frustrated me last night and didn't raise my voice or get irrational.
But this is not about me, it is about that cry for help. Know this my wonderful, beautiful friend, your cries have been heard. I smiled for you today...