I can totally relate. I have been on every Bipolar medication there is and i still have symptoms. And a lot of medications for Bipolar have side effects that's almost as bad as the disorder itself. I have come to realize that I have to accept my Bipolar and live with some of the symptoms. I have a Mood Track Notebook that I write in each day. It helps me keep focused and allows me to see by my notes if I'm going into mania or depression. Because of this Mood Tracker I have been able to better deal with my mania and my depressions. It shows me that no matter what mood we are in, it will change soon. I hope I've been of some help.