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MzJelloFluff said:
to convince him i am doing better, convince him i am worth the effort... .. i can see that the feeling cannot be trusted..

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The fact that you are not trusting this feeling and see the holes in it..is a sure sign of progress Mzjello.

You are certainly worth the effort...you know this.

And once you know that you are making progress,,which you should because you are,,then his opinion will lessen in value and his help will paradoxically increase in value.

It is not what he thinks that makes a differeence,,it is what you think and feel.

IMHO.

Lenny