We live in a culture that thinks "not taking no for an answer" is something admirable. A refusal to accept someone's "no" is a refusal to accept that the person has rights that should be respected. Too many of us feel like we don't deserve respect and affection and that in order to have any kind of companionship, we have to give whatever the other person wants without regard to our own needs or feelings. The first time we finally start standing up for ourselves, the manipulators and users in our lives will push back against the boundaries we set up, or will take off and find a new source of whatever they're seeking.

Saying no can be hard, especially when it leads to someone pulling back, but even though it hurts to be alone and questioning yourself, it hurts much worse to be manipulated, used, and abused.