Last night I got about 7 hours of decent sleep. Yay for me! Unfortunately, I have woken up feeling very anxious, and a little panicked. I can't get my morning meds of Haloperidol and Seroquel for another thirty minutes. Sounds not to far away, but feeling like this waiting is torture. Thanks to the haloperidol I had a calmer day yesterday. Well relatively calmer. This morning I feel awful again and can only hope the meds work once I can take them. SI still there. It increases and decreases throughout the day. Right now its bad. As it is nursing handover time I cannot speak to a nurse for at least 1.5 hours. I have many confusing, conflicting thoughts that distress me so talking would help. Even as I write my panic is escalating. I can only hope the meds calm me down, or I will get to that running away stage. It is weird, my thoughts seem calm but distorted at times, and my body is carrying all the anxiety.

Today I am going to try and use the small gym here, but I will have to make sure I don't aggravate my hip. Maybe I won't bother. I don't know. Thanks so much to everyone for their support. It helps immensely as I have no friends I can talk to about this stuff. I feel worse this morning than yesterday. Yet last night I slept for 7 hours straight so I don't know why the anxiety has escalated. I just want it to go away, or at least the SI go away so I can go home. Going on how I feel now it won't be at least until early next week. Now I am going to pass some time listening to music until I can get my meds. AGGGGHHHH, this panic is awful. It is like being on fire with no way to put it out. Painful, and deadly. I am not as safe so far today as I was yesterday. I really need some meds and later a chat. My thoughts are distorted and twisting. Very uncomfortable and confusing.