Haha. I thought the narcississts would find new targets too, but it. seems like they have run out of supply and saw me as their last hope. I really felt sorry for one old guy because I could see that his neighbors avoided him and he complained that his ex wife and kids won't speak to him. That should have been a warning sign. After I ignored his emails for over a year, he still emailed to try to get me back by trying to sound less aggressive and demanding. I worry a bit that he will try to corner me at the local grocery store and I will have to be rude.

The problem I have with boundaries is that I grew up in a family that wanted to walk all over me. They also demanded that I put strangers before myself.

The issue with one narcissist happened because when I first met him on the street, he invited me into his house. I said no and he kept asking until my sister demanded that I go into this guy's house for a cup of tea to avoid being rude. That made this man think he didn't need to take no for an answer if I refused him anything else. When he got obnoxious, i felt guilty for months about ignoring him because he was old and I always thought you should be kind to old people. After months of stressing out over it, I realized that people take advantage because I am afraid of being rude. If my sister or aunts see me refuse someone, they will tell me off and often encourage older men to pursue relationships with me. It took me a long time to recognize this vicious pattern.

So I have been rethinking how I relate to people. I have a cousin who is really nice but she always gets bullied at work. She loved her dog, but her dog always bit her. When she got a cat, the cat also started attacking her so someone else has to hold her cat to let her clean the litter box without getting scratched.

This makes me think if people tend to treat us badly, something in our behavior is letting them know they can get away with it. For me, I think I'm too worried about being rude even to rude people. I think I misunderstood the realistic standards of what it is to be polite. When someone is rude or inconsiderate,

I'm not sure what you mean by being passive aggressive and expecting people to do the same. Can you explain?