I wonder if you’ve discussed transference with pdoc? Having that discussion and having him shut you down would likely get rid of most of it. I used to have a bit of a crush on my pdoc and occasionally ran into him on public transportation...strangely on the bus I was often the last open seat and I can’t remember exactly what I said or did I think I may have smiled too widely well he sort of looked shocked and it ended my whole crush. This was after our working relationship had already ended because he moved to a military facility so I’d didn’t think much of it. I’ve run into him since then and he still seems just as concerned for my well being even though I’m not paying him. Anyway a professional will know how to handle this properly.