Based on what you've been through with your relationships that you described, I think your cynical attitude is totally normal.
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The problem with this attitude is that it makes it difficult to meet new people. I go into most interactions expecting very little. I am sure I am giving off some kind of not good vibe and so, I end up not really meeting new people. I have 'friends' at my Alano Club, I feel totally welcome there. But the only other place I feel welcome is here on PC.
So, I am wondering if anyone thinks I can change what is basically a pretty cynical attitude. What should I do? Any input appreciated.
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You're a very intelligent man and I'm sorry you're experiencing self-doubt about these social interactions. Why would you change who you are? There is no reason to ever second guess yourself. A little cynicism is healthy. I really don't think your worldview is wrong. I think it's actually pretty spot on. People are more selfish and entitled now, than they've ever been. And, it's definitely a reflection of the way society has evolved over the past 25 years with the help of the internet and giving people access to information 24/7.
The way of life we grew up with has all but disappeared which is sad. People don't visit each other anymore, "just because" like they used to. We're poisoning our planet and our gov't is corrupt. The world is going to hell in a handbasket.
Rumi said:
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You have been walking the ocean's edge, holding up your robes to keep them dry. You must dive naked under and deeper under, a thousand times deeper. Love flows down. The ground submits to the sky and suffers what comes. Tell me, is the earth worse for giving in like that? Do not put blankets over the drum. Open completely.
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I'm sorry you are feeling down, bpcyclist. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect for other people. Be yourself. The people who like you for who you are, will accept you for who you are. Don't worry about the rest.