Going out was a huge mistake. I only planned to pickup a medication at the pharmacy and then quickly go for a few things at the grocery store. It turned into a mild dissociative state experience (depersonalization/derealization). I felt like I was in a trance most of the time. I did weird things. I found myself just standing in one place, not knowing what I was even there to do. Then I super overdid it and went to the bread shop. There I saw a woman that seemed to trigger me. I won't go into how/why, but I guess I was staring at her, and she eventually noticed. That disturbed me that I was acting like that. I got home almost wishing I hadn't rescheduled my psychiatrist appointment. It was originally supposed to be in 15 minutes. I thought about calling him to ask for the time back, but I knew he'd never get the message on time, and he's probably already given that time slot away. Maybe it's all for the best.


About 20 minutes ago, I heard my garage opening. Why was Hubby home so early? Apparently for good reasons that I didn't recall. I told him that I overdid it and now I don't want to do anything more the entire night. No cooking. Nothing. I just feel disturbed. Sometimes day dreams race through my head and seem so real. They're usually something rather scary.


I wonder if I actually hurt myself with the long shower and all of the errands. Now my voice is so hoarse and my cough is scary.