My parents were strict too, but not in ways that MATTERED, if that makes sense. Its not like it was towards a greater good. It was just to prove who is boss. It was effed. I disciplined myself re homework etc. They belittled or ignored my accomplishments in that regard.

But i didnt understand that thats what was going on. Or couldnt believe it, or accept it. They hated me for doing what they wanted my brother to be doing - getting A's, being "good".

I wanted to join the army out of college, but i was afraid of the discipline, but dang i wish i had.

My long term t in the 80's kinda used to mention re-parenting to me, which i think is what your t is doing , but i could not even hear the term without freaking out. My last t agreed that my parents wrote the book on opposite-parenting - whatever they did was always the opposite of what a parent should do. So i would say, if you can even tolerate it, do it- because it took me a very long time to accept that a helping hand might not be secretly hostile and hurtful - that it might actually be trustworthy. I think thats the real question.