You're certainly right about the divisions in the queer community. I'm not sure if "community" is the right word for it anymore. Everyone covered by the LGBTQI+ labels understands the pain of other people telling us that it isn't okay to be who we are. But the most vicious attacks seem to come from each other. Those who are part of one stigmatized or marginalized community engage in those same behaviors against others, or even their own if they don't fit their personal concept of what a member "should" be.

The pain of toxic relationships can last for a long time. I'm happy for you that you were able to heal and feel ready to open yourself to love again. I wish you the best in your search. I never had success in online dating either, but a lot of people have found incredible relationships that way, including those with social anxiety.