It's good that you are talking about things here and at the walk in. It's very understandable that you worry about your own mental health. It's very unsettling living with a person that is unpredictible and clearly mentally challenged in some way and you did go from your mother becoming more and more mentally challenged to suddenly facing homelessness and now with this mentally disturbed individual. Basically, you have been exposed too much to situations that have created frequent hyper vigilance in you the last year and a half, and actually possibly longer than that.

It can seem like narcissists are constantly popping up and people can begin to be one disappointment after another. However, what you are beginning to recognize is that a lot of people have insecurities and may exhibit some naricissistic symptoms because that's all they know how to do when they face challenges in others or struggle within themselves.

In reading what you share Blanche, I have a feeling that you DO handle a lot of situations fairly well, you have fashioned a suit you put on to protect yourself in different situations. Yet, once you get distance from the situation you need to vent out how poorly the other person behaved where you had to put on that protective suit just so you could get through the situation you faced. You must be approachable if someone who knows this woman you are living with has told you all these things you have shared here.

Do you know why it helps to distance and spend time doing art projects, even just sitting with crayons and coloring in a coloring book? Why art therapy can become therapeutic? It's because when someone engages in being able to sit and create anything on their own that doesn't have to be judged in someway, it gives that person a way to have a sense of control. Having a creative outlet of somekind is always helpful and calming.

A lot of people in performing art's fields experience breakdowns did you know that? Even Dolly Parton who seems to have this cheery warm disposition about her recently shared that she had a breakdown and struggled badly with depression and withdrew for a while. The thing about acting, if that's what this room mate did, is that a person can get used to playing a certain role, it's like being handed a coloring book and slowly getting good about coloring within a preset laid out picture. If something happens and the person suddenly loses that laid out picture/structure they grew so used to living/coloring in, that person can actually fall apart mentally as is the case with this room mate.

It's not surprising other individuals in that field have stopped by in an effort to reach out to her either. I think these individuals in some way can sympathize with how vulnerable a person can be in that field. Yes, it's disturbing and unsettling for you, yet at the same time Blanche, it's also educational. Yes, in a way you are like that man who wrote about Gatsby, very good analogy. Ironically, Gatsby was another person who did not want realism, but instead wanted the magic. Perhaps we are all wanting that in a way, constantly looking for a magic that we can escape to away from realism. Cary Grant said, "Everyone wants to BE Cary Grant, even I want to BE Cary Grant".

Oh, I know, it's very hard to see that when just trying to not be homeless and instead figure out how to be independent and be able to work and support yourself. It's definitely hard to see the reality of that woman's world when you don't have the kind of luxury where you can just hybernate and have others do things FOR you like she is doing. That is like being so very hungry and walking past a busy fancy restaurant and listening to people complain about the service or the food they are eating or just complaining about a lot of nothings while stuffing their faces with rich food in a warm fancy environment.

You got a roof over your head and did not realize WHAT you were getting yourself into right? Well, this environment is so messed up Blanche that these people did not even think about considering your credit history. Actually, they are lucky you are not some crazed dishonest thief or god knows what else. Actually, THEY got lucky with YOU. Did you ever think about that Blanche? Here you are putting a stopper on YOUR door when you could be some crazy that is capable of harming this room mate. That has happened to a young singer/rising star Selena was it where in the choas of her rising career she ended up being killed by this crazy woman assistant who gradually took over and then got stranger and stranger. Actually, Blanche, these people don't even realize your actual value and that you are not the kind of person that would do something bad and you have not gotten very much respect from what you have shared either.

Actually, that is something you might consider sharing in that while you are currently experiencing financial challenges that can reflect in your credit you ARE a person who is honest and is just trying her hardest to get back on her feet, you are certainly not the take and skate kind of person.