Junerain, Good for you for having the courage to acknowledge this to your mom.
I too have struggled with the abuse I experienced all my life from my mother, but I also knew she could never have tolerated hearing anything about it from me. I'm age 57, and I actually took care of her during her last months recently. There was never a questioin in my mind of being able to say, "Mom, your abuse toward me caused me a lot of problems." I was hit every day of my life growing up, not even knowing why. I often thought as a child how unusual it would be to not be hit for a day. I was never allowed to express myself, and grew up with a massive inferiority complex. My response to this has been to work extra hard to succeed, all the while striving also for approval and acceptance. I have realized this in my recent years, though I'm still working hard.
I've had to deal with this in my own way, rather than confronting her. She herself was an abused child, and emotionally incapable of self-examination or personal accountablily. I treated her lovingly during her last days. Interesting too, that my sister, the younger of the two of us, showed more resentment, though she never experienced any of the abuse I did, or the beatings.
Each of us has to deal with this in our own way, I guess. You are a brave girl, and you can do anything you choose to do and succeed.!
Love
Patty