Thread: My reality
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AzulOscuro
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Default Dec 06, 2019 at 06:32 AM
 
I think that I explained myself wrongly.
I don’t expect people mirroring me. Wow! It would be so boring. It would be like being interacting with myself and I already do that everyday. lol!
I expect an equal treat. A place where my needs and being is respected as I respect the other person. However, I tend to be severe, strict with myself and then with the other people. These are my perfectionism traits.
So, I’m working on this. It’s not easy because as you said it makes connections way too hard, that, without counting that I already find difficult to connect due to my social anxiety.
I didn’t want to mention but I was surprise when you said I seem easy going. Nothing further than the reality. lol!
Concerning the second part of your message, I explained myself bad. I mean that I don’t waste a moment when someone is being mean and I’m more like ignoring than reacting when the person is a stranger.
Ex; I react when this person is in my life or is gonna go on being part in my life.
This happened to me last year. I had a coworker in a pretty good consideration. When a person ask me a favour or it’s on my hand to give her/him a help with something, I throw myself into doing with all I can, the best I can do.
I ask this same person for some orientation and educational resources to help my nephew who is in the Asperger spectrum. It’s my coworker’s specialty. Ok. She with few words told me that I could go to a certain library to look for the material by myself. For me this person died that day.
But, I know I’m being very severe and I have to work on this and discover why I do it, other than, my perfectionist tendency.

Your issue is about showing yourself polite. And much more because you were influenced by your family and society. Don’t forget women are taught to be nice and polite. My case is similar.
How did you feel yourself when after feeling forced to be polite or give more than you wanted, gave you more problems and headaches than a satisfactory relation? Mine is a little similar but my own nature with my perfectionism are the ones that force myself to be a giver, a gregarious, a helper, a polite person. It’s a mistake. The correct is the balance.

Sorry for the long post. I hope I explained myself a little bit better. :-)

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Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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