Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I don't find the email exchange odd. I do think the therapist is punitive. I understand the 3 choices thing, but I think his seeming lack of support for you choosing the third option is manipulative and punitive. I don't think you are responsible for your parents' choices or responses to your decisions. I think making choices for yourself that are in your best interest is a better plan than trying to please others. Parents will survive - it is a choice, in my opinion, to let them guilt trip you or for you to feel excessively responsible for how they feel. I hope you can make the best choice for yourself.
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I agree with SD (!). I don't think it's right if he'd offer you a phone call if you were making one of the two choices he agrees with, but not the other. T's should realize that we have our own reasons for doing things. He should trust you to be able to make your own choices--you aren't a child. My T gives me plenty of feedback (sometimes more than I'd prefer!) and opinions, but I don't think he would choose to only offer support if I went with one of his preferences for something. It's nice that he's offering to schedule a call, but the conditions put on it would bother me.
I also agree that you're not responsible for how your parents feel. But I know that can be difficult--it's one of the things I struggle with (and am working on in therapy), feeling responsible for other people's feelings, wanting to please others (particularly authority figures, like parents), etc. If you do decide to go on the trip, could you maybe compromise--stay, say, 2 nights with your parents and the rest elsewhere? Or could you decide to make the trip shorter (you don't need to explain why)? Just a couple thoughts...