Just remember most therapists are "mandatory reporters" so if you have a plan and ability to carry it out ,you are going to have some cops babysitting you ,before you hear back from your therapist ,and if you have the above or history of above ,you get a free ride in the cop car ( they call it a "courtesy ride" to the hospital ,its to make sure you arrive alive to get some kind of intervention to help you ),doesnt mean they will keep you ,or have a bed for you ,but you will get some support .

Everyone involved would rather bend over backwards to try and help you ,than do an unattended death investigation a couple days later when your bloated and rotting ,the smell is one you never forget & neither is the horrible sinking feeling , that somebody was forgotten ,in about 90% of cases ,the dead had contact with somebody who completely missed the crisis within 3 days of there death .

So reach out peeps there is no shame in it ,any day any time you need it . If your T or P losses a little sleep they will survive (they survived residency didn't they?)

Yes sometimes it may feel hopeless ,it never is as bad as you see it ,depression has a great way of coloring everything to fit it's dark narrative .

I am sorry if this sounds like a naive "pep talk" its not ,i have been there on both sides of needing help and giving help at various times ,and being there with the silent victims.