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I saw my new therapist a month ago, next appointment is in February (yeah, I know...).
He told me to call him if I needed to, if I was truly unsafe...
I thought... "If i were about to kill myself, why would I call you? To prevent me from doing it? That would mean I don't truly want to die, so the whole calling things make no sense to me"
If I call saying I want to die
---> if i truly wanted to I would be prevented from doing it. It would be like auto sabotagge.
---> if i don't intend to, then why calling? It would mean i am not in danger.
I didn't tell him any of this, I think knowing that I won't seek help if I were About to die would unecessary worry him.
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Crazy, inside and aside
Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions
"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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