thank you to those who post encouragement...have been reading threads and appreciate that so many reach out to others...feeling particularly difficult today; long time depression comes & goes, but feels like forever now...feel I should know better and I'm at work, so should be working! Came upon this site looking for some distraction from negative impulses and feeling desperate/alone...too hard to do anything really healthy today (taking paxil, but no more therapy after 20+ years) but this was attempt at "next right thing"...thanks again for being here