Look, age is basically meaningless, within reason, these days. Unless you are a professional athlete or fashion model. Frank McCourt won the Pulitzer Freaking Prize for Angela's Ashes. It was published when he was 66 years old. I guess he should have just thrown in the towel when it was hard and he was 44.

Are you eating? Do you have any food? I am not shaming you. I have had moments in my adult life where I had zero food and 17 cents in my bank account and was selling what few belongings I had to try to survive. If you don't have food, we need to develop a strategy for that, in addition to trying to support you as you deal with your illness and any potential job situation.

Don't give up. You have support here. Have you gone over to the Anxiety forum, by any chance? If not, please, please do that. Those people know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I really think you should check them pout.