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Yes, I agree with you that my roommate doesn't want any responsibility (she neglects her own child's basic needs when he was here, for example) for herself, or other people. The pattern you describe is a cycle of addiction.
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Yes, there are cycles with addiction so I can see why that comes to mind to you. However, there are also cycles women especially go through every month, hormonal cycles. Some women go through hell when they are going through menopaus and some women have a hard time once their menopaus is over too. If this woman is in her mid fifties and her son is still pretty young yet, she had him late. It's harder having children once you hit early fourties. She was all about herself and her career for a long time and then had to share time with a child? Some women are not parental material and that is even more challenging if her son is on the autism spectrum.
I know for myself I struggled at certain times of the month, that was even more challenging when I developed endometriosis. That got so bad I had to have lazer surgery and they put an implant in my arm to stop my periods so I could heal and that implant completely depleted me of estrogen and I could not even function until I was given horomone treatment and antidepressant to help me feel myself again. I know first hand how horomones can really affect a person's mental health big time. It's not always a conscious decision to withdraw and hybernate.
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My mother actually fits that same thrive/break down cycle. After my father died from cancer, my mother chose to break down and stop living her life.
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It sounds like she tried to keep working even though she lost her husband and that is a major life changing thing, especially for older couples. It's not always one's choice to break down and withdraw even though I know it seems like a choice. Change can really take the wind out of the sails for some people.