It infuriates me when I hear that people call others ugly! You are not ugly! I hate the word and feel it's use is too often used strictly in an abusive way that makes no sense.

It is my strong assumption that it is your brother who truly has significant self-esteem issues and self anger. He is surely not ugly, either, but his behavior is ill.

Unfortunately, my brother-in-law has been verbally abusive to my sister and nephews far too often during their whole time together. He used that "ugly" bit on my youngest nephew. When my nephew, in confidence, told me his father said that to him I could have died and confess that I yelled the contradiction in reaction. I tried to explain that it is my brother-in-law's being ill that brought out that word. Really, my brother-in-law likely heard something comparable from his father. That's part of the tragedy relating to the utterance of such wrong things.