thanks for the response...yeah, it is discouraging after so many years of treatment...would like to change meds, but withdrawal from paxil is fierce (tried several times and just can't get lower than 15 mg) and the last doc I saw tried all these sedating alternatives (he thinks I'm bipolar)...funny, but it does feel better just connecting, even online...trouble at home leaves me struggling sometimes...want to spill the whole thing, but can't handle it right now...need the detachment & denial for a while longer...sigh...back to work & thanks again!