Something I've always believed (no matter what analogies people throw my way to disprove me) is that mental illness is a not a choice. I joined PC because I have anxiety, which, it was determined, was a maladaptive response to growing up in my family system....BUT...also a biological side effect of anemia and thyroid disease. So, I have always believed that mental illness is not in fact, a disease like cancer or diabetes, but is in fact, a biological response to something happening in the human body. That's another thread for another time (but I know it will be met with silence b/c I haven't run across anyone here who agrees with me).

So, I disagree with you that mental illness is not a choice. My mother CHOSE to give up after my father died. She had a support network of friends and family and colleagues and her children. She had the financial means to survive and pay off her house and move into a 2-bedroom apartment and continue her lifestyle where she took multiple trips per year until her stroke and dementia onset earlier this year.

My roommate chose to give up b/c her "dream of" collapsed, despite the fact that she had the choice to go to therapy with her son, get him diagnosed with the type of autism I believe he has, move out of state back to LA if she wanted to, or WHATEVER. But, she has choices. She just chose the give up. I sound like I lack compassion for my mother and my roommate. I don't. What I do lack is respect for people who CHOOSE to give up.

If mental illness (including anxiety) is not a choice, then, by your definition, I should give up and go be homeless and say "effe it, I'm worthless, have no value b/c I can't find a full-time job." But I don't believe that. I choose to keep trying to find a full-time job. I choose to go to grad school because despite it's lack of a practical application in my life (like an MBA or degree in accounting), I enjoy it. It gives me something to look forward to.

Also I agree with you that hormones can wreak havoc on a person (man or woman) when they are absent or malfunctioning. Esp. menopause and perimenopause or any reproductive-related hormonal disorder. When my progesterone is low, I am more sad than normal, around my cycle. Also, going back to my belief that everything we experience has a biological cause -- vitamin and mineral deficiency can create side effects like anxiety and depression and even psychosis. That's just what I believe. We all believe what we want to believe about mental illness' cause, right? You believe that mental illness isn't a choice. I disagree with you but that doesn't mean I don't respect your opinion esp. since you've taken the time to discuss my roommate situation with me in my thread to the extent that you have, whereas no one else has. And it has helped me process the situation despite the times we disagree with each other.

Last night, after I posted, my roommate left her bedroom to come into the kitchen and she looked at the money order but said nothing to me about it. I was watching a movie and eating dinner. I didn't offer her any. I think she expected me to b/c I had done that out of fear for the past 5 months. But I set a boundary last night. If she wants to eat something, she has to make her own dinner. Her neighbor also set a boundary (she texted me) and has stopped bringing over dinners for my roommate, since my roommate just let them rot in her refrigerator. I think setting boundaries is necessary with my roommate.

So, she waited for me to offer her some of my dinner but I ignored the silence and just kept watching the movie and eating. She tried to get me to offer her some of my dinner by asking me if I liked it. I didn't take the bait. I just nodded and went back to watching the movie. She then commented, "Oh, I know the screenwriters who wrote that movie." Like that was supposed to impress me or suddenly make me want to offer her some of my food, which she has been eating for 5 months now and never reimbursing me financially for it, fyi. So, I told her sister, if I am going to spend my money on feeding her sister, I won't pay full rent anymore. I think that is totally reasonable.

Anyway, after she saw that I set this "I won't feed you anymore" boundary, she left her kitchen and walked back into her bedroom. She meets all bout 1 of the psychiatric admissions criteria for inpatient treatment, which are the same as an elderly person for admission into a nursing home. The only criteria that's vague is that she is not outwardly homicidal or suicidal. And, since her sister won't file a court petition to have my roommate admitted, the county will continue to release her after a 3-4 day hold in the local hospital's mental health floor. Filing a petition would force the local court to put together a county mental health team to assess my roommate more thoroughly than the county hold psychiatrists. But, her sister won't do it or her mother or ex-husband. So, whether this is menopause, grief of not achieving her "dream of" family/lifestyle, my roommate's made a conscious choice to deal with her life by hiding, b/c she can financially afford to hide.