I agree with Susannah. There have been times I did feel like I wanted to die, but didn’t want to cause people (H or D) that pain. So I did reach out to ex-T, ex-MC, current T, friends, etc. (went to ER once, too, but wasn’t admitted). it didn’t mean my desires weren’t real. But I did want to be stopped. (And I did make an attempt in the distant past as well.)