I remember last year I believe I shared my fear/fantasy that when I round the corner in the hallway at T's, his nameplate will be gone from the door.

I was finally able to discuss this with T and he said it was my lack of object constancy. By now, it's old news for me. After his winter break in December I told him he only exists in his chair!

Now I believe I have internalized him to some degree. His nameplate continues to be on the door and I always expect to see it when I round the corner along with the smaller nameplate of another therapist who works in the suite. Her nameplate is rectangular as well and is underneath his on the door.

My most recent fantasy has my name on an even smaller rectangle underneath theirs.

Sort of like Papa bear, Momma bear and baby bear.

Sigh.

Do you have a fantasy to share?