No one I've ever known would have wanted to hear about my inner thoughts or wishes. They simply wanted me to fulfill the role I played in their lives. I learned very early in life, I don't know how, that there were things about myself I must never talk to anyone about. And so I didn't. And I still don't. Over the years, bits & pieces of it have inadvertently leaked out here & there. But, like the little Dutch boy, I plugged the leaks.

I used to watch videos on YouTube. (I even made a few of my own.) That was probably 10 years ago though. Nowadays I mostly just listen to relaxing music channels while I'm replying to posts here on PC. Sometimes I wish there was someone I could talk to. But there isn't. And to be honest I suspect I'd be too embarrassed to really come clean, so to speak. So I just keep it all to myself. Sometimes I wonder how long I can keep it up. But the reality is I've been doing it my entire life. I guess I can tolerate a few more years.