Emily I was in your exact situation with my uncle's funeral. I didn't even go. I was never close to him or his children as they stopped making an effort to stay active in my life more than 20 years ago. Just because they're family, doesn't mean we're obligated to them, even where funerals are concerned. Why waste money on a hotel and plane ticket or train/bus ticket plus hotel, to spend 1-2 days with people who don't value you in their lives? Just so you can "save face" by going to a funeral for an uncle you had no close connection to. Don't do it. Your brother has an agenda for going. Doesn't mean you are obligated to go because he goes. You are an adult and don't owe your brother or cousins an explanation since they don't keep in touch.