Welcome! Please start, or add to, threads if it helps. I too have CPTSD (although only PTSD is recognised in the diagnostic manuals at this point). AT this moment I am in hospital for treatment for it. My biggest problem at the moment is finding a safe place (long story). I only allowed myself to be admitted because I was sure I wouldn't survive another day without the proper care. Do you have access to a room of your own, or a place in nature that helps you feel safer. The essential first step in recovery from PTSD is establishing safety. It is almost impossible to significantly heal while still feeling unsafe. Are you safe from yourself or others right now? Hang in there, support is available, including the lovely people on this forum.