Quote:
Originally Posted by sheltiemom2007
To say someone doesn't know right from wrong and has been stripped of their moral compass is the same as saying they are less than human. What makes humans unique is our moral compass. Strip that away and you have an animal. Think about that. Designating people with mental illness being like animals. It's sickening. It's the worst stigma.
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A person with a well honed moral compass can experience a malfunction. My moral compass was intact for 38 years and it did not work properly one night. I almost lost everything I hold dear and I had no idea I was even doing it.
I watched as my children literally disappeared before my eyes. I instantly believed my husband was demonic and the only way to bring my children back was to fight him so I threw a table at him. That was my reality.
What really happened is that my husband opened a door and hid my kids behind it to protect them from me because he realized at that point I was severely compromised and hallucinating. He turned back around to find me lunging for him and screaming at him to bring my children back. He called 911 and I was taken from my home.
I would never attack my husband in my right mind. He is am very good man. I know this through and through. He has never done anything remotely evil in the 15+ years I have been with him. He also knows I would never hurt him intentionally. He knows I was sick and completely out of my mind.
I was given meds at the hospital and came out of my psychotic state almost instantly. I could not believe what I had done as the images began coming back to me in pieces. I have never been so horrified at anything in my life. I would NEVER choose to scare or hurt my family in any way in my right mind. I never had before. I hope to never do it again and I'm fighting like Hell to make sure it never happens in the future.
On the one hand I was a mother fighting to be with her children. Morally, that seems sound. However, in my experience your compass cannot point true north unless you pair it with rational thought. I lost my ability to think rationally or critically. My decision making was totally impaired. My reality was altered and I chose to harm my husband. My actions harmed my children and I would have known that if I had been able to think. If that makes me less than human or an animal in someone's eyes so be it. I am grateful though that the people who love me can accept that I was sick.