I am sorry you experienced that kind of relationship as your first relationship. You had to learn some important things in such a hard way. And in all honesty, a lot of people don't expect to experience an abusive relationship, especially individuals who are still inexperienced and naive. Also, abusers actually look for individuals that are innocent and niave and they pretend they are nice when they are not and all they are interested in is control and power over and whatever they can get from the other individual. They can tell when someone has low self esteem or lacks confidence and skills, it is what they hone in on because they are abusers/predators.

I am sorry you experienced all that, learn from it and look for someone who can be nice and respect you as a person.