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*Beth* · Dec 09, 2019 at 07:04 PM

A huge thanks to each of you! Sharing your experiences and thoughts is so helpful to me.

As for an activating medication, the change I've had recently is an increase in Pristiq (from 50mg to 75mg). Aside from the paranoia I've been feeling odd...kind-of an agitation. I suggested to Dr. W that perhaps we should drop the Pristiq back to 50mg. Dr. W nixed that idea. I'm going to bring it up again, though.

But the paranoia has been going on for many, many years. I've tried to explain it to a number of psychiatrists, but for some reason the description I gave was not quite clear, I guess. For whatever reason I had a light bulb moment this morning. I suddenly realized that paranoia is the word for the perceptual experience that bothers me so much.

I do fact check, and I do realize that these paranoid perceptions are not real...sort-of. But to say that I absolutely do not believe that I am being watched would not be true. So...basically, I believe that what I'm perceiving is real, even though I'm aware that it sounds like an unreality to others.

I, too, wonder about SzA, and have for a while.

I don't believe in demonic or satanic entities, either. But maybe I actually do, since I have this thing going on. But my mind is stuck in a weird gear. Well, I'll definitely speak with Dr. W at my appointment on Friday. Again, thank you all.