Willpower only takes you so far. The more you try to resist the urges, the stronger they become. It might be beneficial to you to cultivate a better self-image. From what you describe, it sounds like you might think that you're the problem and that your actions and urges are beyond you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds to me that at the core, you're lonely. Maybe you blame yourself for not being able to have relationships with women; Blaming yourself doesn't solve the problem. Instead of trying to numb the pain, you'll have to work with it. Your pain tells you what you need to do in order to be happy and healthy. A forum like this is a good step because of the support and feedback you receive. So if you do read my message, know that there are other ways to work through this. The next time you feel like watching a porn model, stop and take a breath. Ask yourself if it's worth it. Ask yourself "Is this going to solve my problem and make me happy?" By giving yourself that moment to think before you act, you can effectively and consciously let that impulse go. Then instead of masturbating to porn, you might call a friend, talk to a parent, or do something else. Maybe you come back to this forum to tell us that you thought about webcam models but didn't watch or spend any money. Take every small victory and don't beat yourself up if you end up watching cam models.

Lastly, I want to comment on the word addiction itself. Obviously this is a sexual addictions forum, but I think the word addiction carries with it the stigma of shame. You do not have to feel ashamed. You do not have to feel stuck or at a loss of control. There's a part of you that knows what's best. I wish you luck as you continue to go on.