I think you need to draw a line in the sand and stick to it no matter how much he tries to talk you into things.

It’s your body and only YOU can decide what your comfortable with.

Do you have a Therapist ? If not I’d advise finding one. This would be something that could help you process all this and it will help you decide what your willing to do and what is just not acceptable. You need to learn how to put boundaries in place and keep them strong even if he throws a fit and acts like a total jerk.

Just because your married doesnt mean he can expect you to jump when he snaps his fingers. It’s still YOUR body YOUR choice.

Take care