Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton
If I could find anyone who would listen to me, including a chimpanzee I would marry them. 
I just feel like that isn't true though. I mean one friend doesn't even work with me, when she calls, I pick up and listen. And the end of the conversation when I feel like it is my turn to talk... "she has to go". She has zero desire to hear what I say and can't even hide that anymore. But it is rare if I talk to her. I do not text her in off hours or say anything to her outside of work. But I do feel like if she calls me, I should get a turn to speak too... it is only polite. I call her but typically with work information.
Then, I have a "friend" at work and she literally comes into my office, says what she wants to say (disturbing me) and then departs. When I go into her office to say anything she finishes the conversation talking about her issue. She is so about her she can hardly keep on topic.
I used to have another friend but we have broken it off. She drove me up the wall... anytime I would have my office door open she would come in and tell me a story about her life and then when I would start talking about me she would go "oh I have to go". Ok for the first 500 times... I can let that go but after the 501st time you just blow your top. I never blew but I made it plain she isn't really welcome anymore.
If I was going to take any stab at it I would say it is that I am a valued friend who listens and they have all become very dependent on my listening to them... so much that it is like a drug. |
You wouldn’t get much listening from a chimp, but a parrot would do nicely!
I know what you are saying about a person who just talks ‘at’ you and then rushes off without letting you get a word in. I’ve experienced that myself by only one person, though. My husband called it a hit-and-run conversation! That’s their problem and not something you are doing wrong, as they haven’t even given you the chance to have done anything at all. It may be that you are the listener, and they only want it that one way because they are selfish.
It’s unusual that it has happened to you with several people, though.
In the situation I had, she didn’t talk about anything of depth. It was only this checking in about what he was doing, like giving me the weather report, then would rush me off the phone. It was like I was on her list of people she wanted to keep in touch with, but have a totally superficial relationship. This was my sister.
With you, it sounds like they are talking about personal issues with no quid pro quo (lol, a hot term lately!)