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I know I'm lucky to be alive, people have been killed for less. But I don't feel lucky. I feel helpless and stupid. I feel like the universe is giving me the finger and I don't know what to do now.
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Glad that you were not shot. You could have been. The best thing you can do now is move forward from that experience and not let it define your character, circumstances, or choices in life.
Move in with your sister if you can still do that. Ask your mom to help you with your half of the deposit on an apartment and tell her that once you start working you will do a payment plan to repay your mom the money she lends you.
Go join some temporary agencies in your city. You can get clerical work; data entry, call center customer service, receptionist, administrative assistant work assignments that pay better than a retail job.
Try to reframe your thinking to problem-solving instead of analysis-paralysis. Does that make sense?
Focus on the steps you can take to make money esp. since you'll take a semester off. Did you speak to your professors about taking incompletes for the 2 courses or did you already fail them?
The semester isn't over yet as colleges that operate on a semester system don't end until the end of December. So, you still have time to negotiate with your professors about your final grade.
You have two options: you can ask them for an "I" or incomplete -- this extends the deadline for your missing assignments so that you can use all of January, let's say, to finish your assignments for those 2 college courses.
The other option you can try is to "withdraw" from your 2 courses that you say you are failing out of right now. But you'd have to go speak to your college's academic dean about your situation.
In fact, I would go to your academic dean this week. Tell your college academic dean what happened with your fall semester and why you are failing the 2 courses and as him/her what your options are, so that you can stay enrolled in your program and not lose your financial aid, or go on academic probation.
Because, if you don't try to salvage those two fall courses, and you accept "F's" for grades, you will most likely go on academic suspension.
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College requires you to make a Grade Point Average (GPA) of at least 2.0 each semester. The first two times your grades fall below 2.0, you receive an Academic Warning. The next time it happens, you are on Academic Probation. If you fail again to make a GPA of at least 2.0, you are on Academic Suspension.
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So, problem-solve. You can try to do the following:
ACADEMIC PROBATION OR SUSPENSION
1. Go to your academic dean. Talk about your fall semester. That's what academic deans roles are for: to help students who are struggling academically due to outside life circumstances.
a. If you decide to apply to "withdraw" you have to write a statement why.
b. If you decide to do the incomplete, decide how long you'll need to finish both courses' assignments and stay in contact with your two college professors and the academic dean for support.
c. Take the spring semester off OR take 1 course.
INCOMPLETE - FINISH COURSES
2. Go talk to your 2 professors about a plan to finish your coursework as an "I" or Incomplete.
COUNSELING THAT'S FREE
3. Go to your college campus counseling center and make an appointment to talk with a counselor about being robbed at gunpoint so that you can process that experience with a licensed professional.
HOUSING AND WORKING
4. Talk to your mom and step-father about your robbery experience. Tell them you want to move in with your sister and if that's not an option, then you can contact your college's residential housing office and find out if there are any dorm rooms available for winter onward.
a. Go to your financial aid office, if you have financial aid as a college student. See if you can apply your financial aid for an available dorm room.
b. Ask your mom and step-dad for help with your half of a deposit on an apartment with your sister and set up a repayment plan for when you start working.
c. You can apply for work-study jobs as a student on your college campus.
d. You can also join temp agencies and do part-time or full-time temp jobs.
e. You can also apply for retail jobs.
So, you have a LOT of options here. Try those out and see what happens. Stay positive and good luck.