Hello there friend! I saw this thread and thought I'd chime in! I experience paranoia all the time, it never goes away and no medication or therapy has been able to touch even the surface of it yet. Since you and some others shared your experiences, I'll share mine. But keep in mind that when I have fact checked, which for me is to "catch them in the act of abusing me" I have not once been correct in my perception. They have been innocent every single time. So my mind is confused. I have this deep-seated belief that the paranoia is justified(that I really am being horribly treated and abused), but I remember the fact checks and I tell myself that they really love me and show it all the time! And I love them so much too, but still I can't really believe it 100%. So here's what my mind perceives: Metaphorically speaking: My Dad is the warden, and my stepmom is the jailer. She deliberately tries to hurt me or is completely not caring if I am hurt by her actions, and my Dad does nothing, lifts not a finger to stop her, he will let me die(mentally destroyed) at his feet. That's it. And I know it's not true because when I've checked I've (thankfully) been horribly wrong, but will someone please tell my mind that!

The paranoia seems to be focused on those I love or care about or even things that I love! For example, I was sure one day that the sun was deliberately not shining on me alone, that it was personal! But more often it could be thinking that my dear sister is tricking me and trying to get me to say something or that the nice people at my pharmacy really wanted to get me out of there.

You can imagine how difficult I am to be around or live with! Yes I have an attitude a lot of the time because I am suspicious and all day long I perceive things that I wrongly think are personal affronts to hurt me or be completely uncaring that I am falling apart. I know this is not true, or do I? I'm so confused.