^^^ I have been in this situation playing the part of your ex. Long time ago. Trying to get hold of my out-of-control mania and psychosis. My wife left me, exhausted. I was still out of my mind, but manic people can be very charming, as you well know, and I quickly replaced my wife with a younger, riskier version of herself. I then transmitted all my stuff onto the new girl, who shortly realized what I was really all about. Unfortunately, she had fallen in love with me by then and, to top it all off, become pregnant!! Typical manic flail.

We had a beautiful child who is 11 now and somehow got through that mess. I cannot tell you whether we are still together today, because we are still working through some stuff.

My current/maybe-current/not-sure partner did, in fact, contact my now ex-wife back then and ask for the low-down on me. That was very wise. But she didn't listen to her, because--she loved me.

Not saying you should contact this woman. But it wouldn't be wrong in my opinion to do so, either, should the opportunity present itself.

Symptomatic bipolar people do not make rational decisions. Stop putting this on you. Stop questioning yourself. Don't replay the past with a manic person--you will get nowhere with that. Look to the future and move on. Sending you positive vibes and support.