Well, your statement about compassion came across as a slam against me. As if I am not as compassionate as you would be to my roommate. That's how I interpreted your comment. That you were pretty much judging me negatively.

I made the lower-rent arrangement b/c I'm hemorrhaging my own MONEY on my roommate who refuses to spend her own money on food for herself. Instead, she eats MY food without paying me back. Which part confuses you?

You can't tell me you would allow a roommate to financially take advantage of you, the way I've let my roommate for 5 months now. Would you really not feel resentful? Or feel manipulated?

My roommate knows exactly what she's doing. She's been acting this way for 5-6 years. And she has family and friends who enable this behavior to allow it to continue. No one has filed a petition for inpatient treatment for her. That's all it would take, too. County holds at the local hospital only last 3-4 days and since she's not homicidal or suicidal she avoids being transferred to inpatient from county holds. How many hospital county holds do you think she's been through in 5-6 years? A lot, is my guess. And still, no one who knows her well (ex-husband, sister, mother, friends) will file the one piece of paper that could help her stop this cycle of hiding in her bedroom all day/night.

And boundaries are critical for people in situations like this. Her neighbor won't bring food over to my roommate anymore, b/c the food just rots in my roommate's refrigerator. My roommate has the money to order food online for delivery. She probably does that during the day when I am not around. I have no clue. Remember, she's 55 years old. She has been like this since she was 49 or 50 so she has the routine down.

She isn't experiencing dementia. I just watched my mother get dementia and there's no way my roommate has it.

And, my roommate will eventually run out of money, and then she'll be screwed because she has a house and a car. Then, her sister, who has power of attorney over my roommate will have to really stop skirting reality and do something. Ask yourself: why does my roommate need her own sister to have power of attorney over her? Why did my roommate lose custody of her teenager to her ex-husband? Why did her ex-husband divorce her? She started acting this way before her ex-husband divorced her. My guess is, he got fed up like I am, being manipulated and filed for divorce. I don't know the real reason, so its conjecture (and maybe a little projection) but who would put up with this for years from someone and not WANT to leave that toxic environment. Because it is extremely toxic to my well-being psychologically to be here.

She's willfully refusing to seek help for whatever her problem is (mental illness, menopause, whatever). She knows precisely how to manipulate people. She knows she has me between a rock and a hard place financially-speaking, because if I had the money to move out tomorrow, I would. But, I am trapped there until I can find a better roommate situation or sublease situation that I can afford. That's the rub of this whole horrible situation. I mean, at least she stays in her bedroom and isn't chasing me around her house with a knife or gun, when I'm awake or asleep. So I guess that is the benefit.

Living with a mentally ill person is more than weird, Open Eyes. It's extremely stressful. Sorry, but compassion doesn't protect you from a psychotic person yielding a knife. Not that she would do that, but c'mon. I'm not slamming you b/c you've responded the most in this thread. But I'm a little frustrated that you are comparing how YOU would deal with her as your roommate versus how I have been. Then you insinuate that I have no compassion because I am not in my roommate's shoes.

I have no full-time job offers on the horizon, so I continue to seek temp work, apply for jobs, and look for other housing options that will get me as far away from my roommate as possible.