@Stellata, thank you for your kind support! I get that way too, (like you panicked when you didn't know that your mom was home because she didn't text you.) My mind automatically defaults to the "worst case scenario" about everything. For example, if someone doesn't text me right back, they either hate me because I said something in the text that offended them or something terrible happened to them! I call it "catastrophic thinking". I read that somewhere and it seems like it fits. I hope you're feeling at ease now and that you get a restful night's sleep.

**And things did ease up for me! I took a nap and when I woke up I was horrified by what I had done, (all of my meanness fueled by paranoid thoughts spewed at my dear stepmom by me). I almost couldn't bear to go downstairs and have to apologize AGAIN, but something good happened! The nurse for my PsychPA called and said that I could go on Lithium! I had not wanted to go on it before, but now I was desparate and grateful! So I went downstairs and told my stepmom that I was sorry, and that I know she probably didn't want to hear that anymore(because I say it all the time!), but I was taking real steps to get better, that I would be going on Lithium. So things are ok now but it's humiliating to have to apologize for your behavior so often, especially when you're 50 and not 5!