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Originally Posted by Noname1987
Thank you all so much for your input and support! I set up a counseling session for us this afternoon! I love him and want him to be happy and fulfilled, but there has to be limits. He was abused as a child and I don’t think he’s ever had the proper therapy to get him past that. I’m wondering if that’s playing a roll in his less than typical sexual interests. I’m afraid I made him sound like a controlling monster. He’s really a good man and we have a wonderful marriage. He just has this thing about other men seeing me and I really don’t understand it. And when I try to research it there’s not really any info that I can find at least. I find more exaggerated version like swingers etc, but he doesn’t seem to be wanting that. He just wants other guys to see me. I don’t know. So hoping counseling sheds more light on all of this. Thank you all again. I’ll update tomorrow which how it went!
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Wanting other men to see you doesn’t make him a bad person. That’s his sexual preference. I don’t see that as an issue per se.
What I see as an issue is that you don’t share the same excitement and those men aren’t informed participants. Making these men accidentally see your body parts is violation of these men’s boundaries and invasion of their privacy. Even if you agree to do these things, he needs to find informed participants. “Accidental” exposures to strangers are unacceptable
How do women feel when strange men expose themselves? Violated. So how does your husband think these men feel when you expose yourself?
I don’t think swingers are extreme compare to what you’d husband wants. Swingers give each other informed consent. What they do in privacy of their bedrooms is no one’s business. Unsuspected men didn’t give a consent to be violated in this manner. I’d focus on that.