This woman sounds like she has several issues happening at once:

-grieving over the death of her father
-has trust issues with divorced men
-dated a married man
-flirted with you via text messaging then freaked out when you tried to take the flirting offline to real life

She is not emotionally available to you -- or any single man right now. She has a history of dating men who are unavailable to her emotionally, so as a result, she chooses men who validate her low self-worth (men who are divorced, men online even if she works with them like you, whom she hides behind text messaging).

I would avoid pursuing anything romantic with this woman. She's really in no condition to be emotionally available to you, let alone, emotionally stable to you. She has too many issues on her plate to do with men, that aren't your problem to fix. So, don't try to enable her. Don't try to fix her. Just leave her alone and try to find another woman to date who is emotionally available who doesn't have the trust issues with men that this woman has.