Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Sorry to hear that he cheated. Possibly more than once taking in consideration his substance abuse
Listen I’ll be frank. You’ve been with this man for several years now and all you have is constant troubles and difficulties with him. It doesn’t sound like happily ever after to me.
Why would you consider marrying someone who you have so many issues with? There are many nice sober honest and interesting high quality men out there.
I don’t believe you are holding your relationship back. It’s your guts wisely telling you something.
In addition if you do want to stay with him there is nothing one can do to stop it, but please don’t bring children into this. It’s not responsible to raise kids in the household like this. Father arriving home drunk. Not good.
Also makes me wonder why he confessed his infidelity 3 years after it happened. Makes one wonder. I’d not trust that he didn’t do it more than once. Surely I’d never have unprotected sex with him. He isn’t to be trusted
I knew someone who contracted HIV from her own husband who slept around (she didn’t know). She recently passed away from AIDS, it killed her. She did live long with the illness but she didn’t deserve to suffer like this. No man worth that.
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It's so unfortunate to hear about the woman who passed due to her husband's disgusting choices. I feel awful hearing that.
You have been consistent in your advice for years now and I truly appreciate and understand where you're coming from-- maybe you're right and I'm too blind to see but I really believe the things he's told me. He tells me it was only once. He was extremely drunk. He admits he doesn't remember if he used a condom because he was so drunk. He told me when he woke up and realized what he'd done, he was drowning in regret.
He hasn't blamed me for anything, just himself. He's been forthcoming with any bit of information I ask for and has been ready and willing to go the distance. I did get an STD test and I am clean (Thank goodness.)
I know how he's been in the past but he's grown up so much-- it's so hard to compare him to the past because he really isn't that person anymore.
He barely drinks now and actually communicates with me. He tells me how he's feeling and wants to have intimate conversations about what's going on with us and my own mind. He's so worried about me.
Just seeing the way he is now, it makes it so hard to leave because
this is the real him. This is my best friend.
I don't want to leave, I'm sorry. I feel like we can get through this.
I don't want to get married or have children yet-- I'm still only 26. I want to heal and then cross that bridge at another time.
I can't find it in myself to forgive him yet-- why?? I don't want to be cruel.