I have to get this out, and maybe this will help someone else.

It's been 6 years of addictive behavior. I feel judged for saying anything to anyone. And my spirit has suffered. I feel stuck and I don't know what direction to turn to first.

I know that I need to meditate. But I don't remember to practice meditation. I know that I need to study my religion but again I don't. I need to be in nature, but it rains a lot here.

I have excuses for everything. I'm lazy but I know that if I don't change, then I won't be able to help those that need my help.

I'm in a counseling program, and I feel stuck. I am working on an assignment around spirituality, and I don't know how to write what I want to say. and I don't know what to say. I want to share my story but my story is trapped inside me. Maybe I need to connect to my spirit more. And then a song comes on.
"Breakeven" by The Script. I feel that I am falling to pieces. I need to connect with my spirit but, I'm scared and fear and faith do not go together. Any ideas of who to get past this? Any experiences that you would like to share.
TIA