Bicyclist he has a place to stay while I am at work which is good for him, he is with other dogs. Which I am grateful for. Thunderbox I am the only person he is closest to. It's not good give a dog that is a rescue. It's more about how thoughts that bother me. My dog is an innocent victim in this. Basically I'm feeling irresponsible about life. The depression anxiety is making it hard which a big part of me being able to work so I seem to tell myself i have serious self esteem issues due to things i also feel so much shame guilt about. It's really overwhelming. With all of this pressure it weighs on me. I struggle to feel strong to hold to my life together and do things to keep it together. Like I have lost so much lust joy for life. My dog keeps me going thank God. But when I tried to end it all. He was by my side which is part of it. I am so down on myself in aspects of my life I keep struggling to do my job which I struggle to keep it together at work. Which is why I feel guilty for dragging my little buddy into all of it. I have more info in some of my other posts thanks for responses.